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This week’s tip: – Beliefs & Judgements -

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I often hear about fears of being judged, which can cause misunderstandings and conflicts, anxiety, social phobia, depression, and loss of identity.

 

Judgement is a subconscious malaise simply caused by the ego, by the identification with beliefs and values which we think are ‘right’ and so we make other people ‘wrong’.

 

It is expecting another person to think, be and behave as we do and if they don’t, we judge them as wrong or bad or strange.

 

Now, we may be not aware we are identified with the ego, and we may be not aware of our beliefs we are identified with.

 

These beliefs might come from our culture, from our upbringing, from our teachers, from society, for the media, etc., and some of these beliefs might be very limiting for our happiness, wellbeing and success.

 

And the process of freedom lies in becoming aware if we are identified with our ego, become aware of these subconscious beliefs and decide what we choose to believe today.

 

Now, I know you might be wondering, but what if I am aware of my ego, what if I am aware of my beliefs, what if I have chosen my beliefs and I live in a society where I feel judged, how can I deal with that? 

 

Yes, there is a lot of social pressure to be and behave in a certain way, to conform, and this cause many people to go further and further away from who they truly are, and so from their happiness and inner peace, because they are afraid of being judged and they conform, or they simply conform because they want to feel accepted, maybe at a subconscious level.

 

Now, the freedom lies in not resisting if people judge us – it is not who they are, they are just identitifed with their ego, and we are all on our journey home to ourselves -, in not judging them back, in feeling good about ourselves – being on our journey home with ourselves, feeling connected with who we are, and be kind to ourselves -, in knowing that we are not responsible for how another person thinks or feels about us – and in not being a mind reader! -, and in discovering, as Rev. Michael B. Beckwith wonderfully puts it:

 

“And you can break yourself free from your hereditary patterns, cultural codes, social beliefs; and prove once and for all that the power within you is greater than the power that’s in the world.”

 

That’s it for this week, and until next time, may you be truly blessed with all things good,

 

Piercarla Garusi
www.pgcoaching.co.uk

We live in a society which is characterized by a continuous yearning for more: more success, more money, more beauty, more confidence, more material things, etc.

In this strive for more, we push ourselves to the limits; and in the process, because perhaps we have not achieved yet our goals, we beat ourselves up and we either give up or we push ourselves even harder.

This way of living does not bring us happiness, inner peace, joy and connection which is what everybody is looking for.

In fact we might often feel more stressed, more empty; it might also bring us to depression and self destruction.

There are three fundamental problems with this way of doing things:

- we feel something is missing in our life, we feel that we are not enough, that we will be happy when this or that will happen, when we will have that job or that relationship or that amount of money; does it work? No, because in the Universe there is a law which says what I focus on I get more of; if I focus on something which is missing, if I focus on lack, I will create more lack in my life; even if I manage perhaps with a lot of struggle to achieve my goals, to buy that house, to have that promotion, will I be happy? No, it won’t last. We need to begin from a starting point of abundance, of feeling abundant for what we have right now in our life, even very small things and be grateful for that; we need to feel lucky and blessed for what we have right now and more will come into our life to be grateful for

- we think it is down to us to be successful, to earn money, to heal ourselves, etc.; we try to take control of our life, but the more we want to control it, the more we feel out of control; it is again the same law mentioned above: what I focus on I get more of; if I feel I am out of control and I need to take control, I will feel more and more out of control and more and more stressed; an example of this is actually the common approach to dealing with emotional wellbeing; if I feel anxious, for example, I try to take control of the anxious thoughts and I end up feeling more and more anxious; the truth is that it is not down to us to heal ourselves; I am completing an eBook: ‘Discover the Beliefs and Approaches Might Be Preventing You from Feeling Good’, which might be very helpful for you if you are not feeling good; I will let you know when it will be for sale on the website

- we disconnect with God or Consciousness or Beingness or Source Energy or however you wish to call it (I will call it God here), and so we feel powerless in life and we might become very depressed; when I talk to people, they often think that God is far away, they feel very small and so they feel God is not very helpful to their day to day ‘human stuff’. The truth is that God is really within you; there is within you an extraordinary presence and peace and beauty and power that when we realize it, the whole of our life is transformed to effortless being; the more we connect with God, the more we discover who we truly are and life becomes easy

That’s it for this week, and until next time, may you be blessed with all things good,

Piercarla Garusi

www.pgcoaching.co.uk

I just want to share with you something came up to me as I was listening to the downloads of Eckhart Tolle and Oprah I mentioned in my previous newsletter and you can find some information below.

And it refers to living in the magic of life.

What’s the secret of living in the magic?

Is it confidence?
Is it self-esteem?
Is it vibrant energy?
Is it feeling good?
Is it feeling at peace?
Is it having a clear mind?
Is it making a contribution?
Is it feeling connected with the Planet, all human beings and living beings?
Is it feeling connected with a Higher Power and Consciousness, with God?

It is actually all of these and more.

And it is only by living in the present moment, in the NOW, that we can experience that.

Some people confuse living in the present moment with ‘carpe diem’, but it is much much deeper and more powerful than that.

It is by living in the moment that we can see the magic in everything we experience, in everything we do, in everyone we meet.

It is by living in the moment that we can listen to the sound of silence and we feel a deep inner peace.

It is by living in the present moment, in the now, that we can feel, see and experience the infinite possibilities all around us, and we only need to ask.

It is by living in the present that we break through fears and worries.

It is by living in the present moment that we need not care about low confidence or self-esteem or the limitations from the past.

It is by living in the present moment that we truly connect with ourselves, with the Planet, with other human beings and with all living beings.

It is by living in the present moment that we truly connect with God, with the Power of Life and Love flowing through us, supporting us, guiding us, the Power of Life in all things.

It is by living in the present moment that we can truly trust and we find peace in the knowledge that all is truly well and taken care of.

It is by living in the present moment that we understand who we truly are and what our purpose is and we are guided to manifest it.

It is by living in the present moment that we have in our lives all the wellbeing, happiness, abundance we desire and deserve.

It is by living in the present moment that we can let go of our ego, be the extraordinary being we truly are and so create the wonderful world we desire.

So, perhaps living in the present moment might be worth a thought…

That’s it for this week, and until next time, may you be blessed with all things good,

Piercarla Garusi
www.pgcoaching.co.uk

I went the other day to a presentation of an incredible social enterprise in Edinburgh dedicated to unleashing the greatness of young people who have weathered tough times and they also run leadership development programmes for teachers. 

They have been doing an extraordinary job to change lives for many years. 

Please help them, if you can, here is how: http://www.columba1400.com/how_you_can_help.html. 

They were talking about their 6 core values for responsible leadership to live life by: 

- awareness- focus- creativity- integrity- perseverance- service 

It is extremely important to live our life by our core values, because they give us character, inner strength, balance, direction, centeredness. 

Our core values are the backbone that regulates our code of conduct, our behaviour. 

Sometimes we are not aware of what our core values really are, as we might have never taken the time to ask ourselves what it is that is really important to us to live by. 

But as we become aware and we decide to live our life by them, we ‘waterproof’ ourselves with regards to outside conditioning. 

So, now it is your time! 

Begin writing down your values, what is really important to you to live your life by, what gives structure to your life, what you stand for. 

And prioritize the values you have written down according to the ones that are really essential to you. 

You might realize that as you write down your values, old conditioning might come up, what other people have said it is important to live life by. 

The truth is that you choose how to live your life by, and you will realize that some of your core values are deeper than any conditioning or upbringing you have had. 

They are just part of who you are and honour that. 

And as you lead your life according to your core values, you will feel more at peace with yourself and more in the flow of life. 

That’s it for this week, and until next time, may you be blessed with all things good, 

Piercarla Garusi
www.pgcoaching.co.uk

In previous newsletters we talked a little about the power of the mind: what we focus on, we get more of.

This depends on our conscious and subconscious mind. And then we need to consider the mind and the ego tendencies.

Now, perhaps we might have never thought about it, but the mind is naturally negative: it looks for problems.

We have a tendency to look for what does not work, for what is negative: in ourselves, in our life, in our jobs, in our relationships, in the world, etc.

We look for what we are not good at, for our weaknesses, for our ‘imperfectness’, we beat ourselves up, we compare ourselves with other people; then we look for what we do not like in another people, we complain about them; same for our job, same for our health, our life, the weather, the government, etc.

What’s the result of this? It creates more problems, as the mind is only creative.

If we focus on what we do not like, we create more things to complain about.

If we look for what does not work in ourselves, we make ourselves feel miserable and we make our life a misery, as negative attracts negative.

Same is for our relationships, for our jobs, for our life, etc.

And so what’s the solution to all of this?

Firstly, we need to tell our mind and our ego to go on vacation!

And then we need to shift our focus to what’s right, to what works.

But we need to find out first what works, and so the action exercise for this week is:

-take some time in a quiet place and begin writing down what is right, what works, what you like, what you love, what you enjoy about yourself, your relationships, your jobs, your life, your house, your community, your government, etc.

-and perhaps a little more: thank yourself because you are the way you are, thank your spouse/partner because he/she is the way he/she is, thank your friends because they are the way they are, thank your colleagues, and so on.

How do you feel? Much better?

If we combine focus on the positive with gratitude, our life will begin shifting more and more on positive vibrations and we will attract more good things into our life.
 
That’s it for this week, and until next time, expect miracles!

Piercarla Garusi
www.pgcoaching.co.uk

I was talking today with a friend about the next step in global consciousness and we concluded it will be about love. Let me explain.

Years ago we would have never dreamed possible all the current care and concern about the environment, and all the changes each one of us is making daily to take care of our beautiful planet.

Then we have wonderful global projects to assist people in need. It is a wonderful sign of how we are becoming more and more aware of the human family.

So, what will be the next step in our global consciousness?

As we learn more and more about the power of our thoughts, about how our world is created by our consciousness and emotions, and how our wellbeing, happiness and abundance is linked to our consciousness, we will change the way we relate to each other.

In fact, the more loving we are, the healthier we are going to be, the more happiness we are going to have, the more successful we are going to be, the more money we are going to have, the more loving relationships we are going to have.

It is really all about love, love for the people close to us, for the people around us, for ourselves, for people in general, for the world. It will be about caring and cherishing people deeply, yourself included.

I am sure you know there are many NLP techniques which help with creating rapport with people, which help with influencing people, but none of them is as strong as love is.

The strongest human want is to be loved, I am sure you will agree with that. Even the most difficult person, if you accept them, if you send them love, they will change with you.

In fact, you can use this techniques in all your relationships; take a person you do not get along with, and let go of disapproving of them, and decide to accept them, and send them love. They will change with you, as you will orient yourself to the best in that person.

And if for example you have a business or you work in sales, if you truly care for your customers, you will make more sales.

There is somehow a trend in personal development according to which if a relationship does not work, you simply and easily find another one. I heard someone once saying something like: ‘If a relationship does not work, you split up, and form another family.’ I was horrified to hear that, as if people are handkerchiefs. Following this trend will only bring pain and suffering. And this is valid for relationships, it is valid for your friends, it is valid for all people in general.

People are extremely precious, you included, and the more you care for them, the happier and successful you are going to be.

And you will see that as you change the way you respond to external circumstances and people by sending them love and approval, you will be less stressed and more at peace.

Also something to be said about the care for ourselves, because if we do not take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of others, because we empty ourselves out. And this means approving of yourself, always, even if you do things not up to your standards, but as you approve of yourself, you see these behaviours simply as an opportunity for growth.

That’s it for this week, and until next time, may you be blessed with all things good,

Piercarla Garusi
www.pgcoaching.co.uk

I was recently in a shop doing some photocopies and I overheard the business owner talking about another business saying: ‘They will end up like the other two, but I won’t because I know the secret’.

At that point I became curious and asked what they were talking about and so the business owner explained: ‘This shop is behaving in the same way as the two others who recently went bankrupt. At the beginning they were doing very well and then they became greedy and now they are treating small customers badly because they want to have only big orders. But I know they will fail, because it is the same behaviour the two other shops had and they had to close down. You have to treat every customer in the same way, regardless of whether they spend £1 or £1,000.’

He is absolutely right.

‘How you do anything is how you do everything.’ Larry Crane

And this applies to business relationships, it applies to integrity, it applies to honesty, it applies to honesty with yourself, it applies to personal relationships, it applies to everything.

You see, sometimes we try to make excuses thinking it is something small if, let’s say, we are not kind with the person pushing us on the tube, or if we steal a little soap sample from the holiday hotel.

The truth is: either we are kind or we aren’t. Either we treat people well or we don’t. Either we are positive or we aren’t. Either we are honest and truthful or we aren’t. Either we have integrity or we don’t. If we don’t have the courage to be 100% honest in our relationships, on what are the relationships based?

Same to be said for the relationships with ourselves: there is no kidding, either we are totally honest with ourselves to where we are and where we need to work on to grow, or we lie to ourselves, we don’t grow and we prevent us from being the extraordinary being we truly are, from being truly happy and from living a life of love, abundance and wellbeing.

And so…

Action Plan!

- think of areas or situations or people in your life where you need to make improvements, where you need to be totally honest, to act with total integrity, to be really loving and kind, etc., and do something about it, today. Choose to be the best you can possibly be!
 
That’s it for this week, and until next time, may you be blessed with all things good,

Piercarla Garusi
www.pgcoaching.co.uk

Let us suppose there is something you are not happy with in your life, and let us consider these two courses of actions, which you might be familiar with:

1. Fairy

We wait for things to change, we hope they will change, that somehow a fairy will make everything all right and we can live happily every after.

We know deep down that things will not change in this way, but we feel safe in our comfort zone, and we rather put our head in the sand and just wait for the fairy than doing something about it.

Does this method work? No!

This method will just cause you to become more unhappy, stressed, frustrated or depressed.

2. Massive actions

There are some teachings in personal development according to which we need to take constantly massive actions if we are to change our life and create the life we want.

This method is good but only at the beginning: if we are stuck, and we need to get the momentum going, it is very helpful; afterwards it becomes damaging and self-destructive.

We might begin thinking if we have not achieved our goals it is our fault, that we haven’t taken enough actions, and we might start beating ourselves up.

And the more you struggle, the more you work hard, the more you push to achieve your goals, the less you achieve them.

Familiar?

This method is in a way aligned with the saying: ‘No pain, no gain’, which is contrary to your true identity, to who you truly are: you are a spiritual being, and thus a co-creator with the Universe.

3. And so we have a third course of action, which involves the following points:

- take full responsibility for your life: you are the only responsible for your emotional state, your happiness, your success, your life

- decide how you want your life to be: making a decision is extremely powerful, you establish your goals and by letting go of everything that is contrary to them, you create them.

As we mentioned previously, the most powerful method to let go is the Release Technique, you can find it here: http://www.pgcoaching.co.uk/20.html.- take actions in accordance to the Universe; and the more you free yourself from all the subconscious programming that is contrary to your goals, the easier it becomes to achieve them.And yes, you will have a lot of actions to take, the majority is releasing, and you will take all the obvious and inspired actions too, and the more you grow spiritually, the more you will be able to manifest with your mind.

That’s it for this week, and until next time, may you be blessed with all things good,

Piercarla Garusi
www.pgcoaching.co.uk

Ever noticed that when you feel good everything seems to work perfectly in your life – your business flourishes, your health is great, all the people you meet are nice, your relationships work smoothly, your finances keep growing?

And when you feel bad, instead, problems, difficult people, nuisance seem to keep appearing? And the more you feel angry, frustrated, or worried, the more it seems you find things, people, situations to feel angry, frustrated, worried about?

And ever noticed really successful people – people truly successful in all areas of life – are happy, grateful, kind, loving, at peace, etc., they feel good all the time?

What does it mean? Is there a correlation between feeling good and abundance?

Yes!

Yes, because your feelings are strictly correlated to what you think, both consciously and subconsciously, and the mind is only creative. And this means what you think, what you focus on, you become and you attract, you manifest in your reality.

Good feelings mean good vibrations; if you feel good, you will attract good things in your life. And so if you feel good, you will create a wonderful life, you just attract unlimited abundance to you.

But is it possible to ‘control’ the thoughts, the thinking, what you focus on, all the time? Yes, but you need first of all to free yourself from the subconscious negative programming.

As we said, the thinking is not only conscious, it is also subconscious; in fact the conscious mind is only up to 10% of the mind, 90% is subconscious, we don’t know it is there.

And so we can say that feelings are stored in the subconscious mind: feelings are just memories we have picked up on the way.

And how can we change the subconscious programming? How can we free ourselves from negative feelings? Do we need to re-programme the subconscious mind? Do we need to ‘put more stuff’ in the mind?

Actually there is a better way: we need to let go of the ‘garbage’ that is causing us to feel bad and that is causing us to manifest lack in our life.

And the most powerful tool we know to do that can be found here: www.pgcoaching.co.uk/20.html.

And as you free yourself from negative emotions, you will begin achieving your goals much more easily, as your conscious intentions will be aligned with your subconscious mind.

That’s it for this week, and until next time, may you be blessed with all things good,

Piercarla Garusi
www.pgcoaching.co.uk

Please visit http://www.pgcoaching.co.uk/29.html for download information.